Coming Soon: The 15-Minute Weekend

white petaled flowers
Photo by Anne-sophie Parent on

As I sat with my cup of coffee on the back patio today, watching the dogs run up and down the fence line taunting the chickens, I thought to myself – Damnit, I should have cut the grass this weekend. 

On Friday, when it was pushing 80 degrees out, I told myself I was going to mow.  But instead, I curled up on the couch and took a 3-hour nap.  Now, as I get ready for bed this Sunday evening, I am regretting that napping decision.  It rained most of the day Saturday leaving the ground still wet today.  Even though I wanted to mow on Friday, I really thought I would be able to go another week until a mow was absolutely necessary.  I was wrong. 

The grass (if I am being honest there are more weeds than there is actual grass in the yard) is so thick and tall.  So tall, in fact, that while I was doing the glamorous duty of scooping dog poop, I couldn’t find many poop piles… which means when I finally mow, the tires on the lawn mower will find all the ‘land mines’ I missed, and the blades will kick up a pungent air of freshly chopped dog crap!  AWESOME!  Not.    

What does this have to do with a 15-minute weekend?  Well, the grass is no longer dormant.  It’s Spring.  Summer’s next.  The grass and weeds will only continue to grow at Mach-Jesus speed.  That means I will be a slave to my yard during the weekends from here until October-ish.  My weekends will be jam-packed with chores.  Some of you might be thinking, “Hey Anne, you don’t have mow your yard every weekend” or “Hey, you can hire someone to do your yard” or “Don’t you have a 14-year-old who should be doing that?” 

Well, those are very valid questions that any normal human being would consider.  The keyword there is NORMAL.

I refuse to pay someone to do my yard especially if I am fully capable of doing it.  It would be a waste of money and an admittance of laziness if I paid someone to cut my lawn.  I also take pride in my house and yard.  Nothing irks me more than neighbors who put zero effort in their home and yard.  In my opinion, a yard should always be manicured.  And while it may seem that I am complaining about doing yard work, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  I truly enjoy it.  I put on some tunes and jam out for the roughly 5 hours it takes to complete my yard.  I don’t half-ass anything in life… so you better believe I treat my yard like I do everything else.  I don’t rush through it.  So, while my 14 year COULD be doing yard work…. I prefer doing it because I know it will be done the right way.  I blame my dad for passing this trait on to me. 

So here I am, on a Sunday evening while the rest of the world is getting ready for the Game of Thrones final season premier, already thinking about the yard work that is in front of me next weekend, and every weekend thereafter for the next 6 months. 

Goodbye weekends.  It was nice knowing you.